A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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