Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Mullets

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He walked in a bar

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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