Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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How come anti jokes r funny

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

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Abortion

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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