Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Safe sex MR

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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