What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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