whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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Fat people.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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