Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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So you there Red?

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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