- Anti Joke

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

-2

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

-2

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" in a calm tone " Yeah, me neither."

-2

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

-2

Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

-2

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

-2

an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

-2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

http://richardfigures.com/

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" in a calm tone " Yeah, me neither."

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

http://richardfigures.com/

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" in a calm tone " Yeah, me neither."