A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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I <3 Hitler

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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Religionh

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Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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