You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Catholicism.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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There's my tractor.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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The government

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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