Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the man die? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops