There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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Potassium? K.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Your mother is average.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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