Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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poop

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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