Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops