What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

I LIKE TRAINS

Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

Guess what. Chicken butt.

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

i keep getting thumbs down...

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...