Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Gay Rights

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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