im watching you..

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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