A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +86

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops