I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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20

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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170

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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