Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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68

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops