whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Justin Bieber

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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170

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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