Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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