What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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heads up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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