Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Penis-biter

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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