Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE 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Penis-biter

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops