WEED!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +5

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops