Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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You just read this ..

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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whats white and sticky glue

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An Asian man fails a math test

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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