Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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