Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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How old is your mom Dead

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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