roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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