Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Type better antijokes above

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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out of your comfort zone

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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