Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

4

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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