What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

Velcro. What a rip off.

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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