Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

run farther?

Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...