Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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fava beans

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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the love boat

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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