Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the mute say to the deaf man?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -29

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

nick ya honkin of b.o m8

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops