What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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