You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The Olympics

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -174

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops