Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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