Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -31

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +20

68

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops