What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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20

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Fat people.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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