Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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John Cena for president

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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