Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three baby seals walk into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

thumb_up thumb_down -35

“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops