A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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lybia

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops