Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

A man makes a sandwich.

A man killed himself.

Pineapple.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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