I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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