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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

religion

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

British Dentistry

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

I'm hungry.

Women's rights

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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