Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops