How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Justin's humor

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops