Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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A woman walks into a bar.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Which is longer? A rope...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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