im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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