A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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penis

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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