What's greasier than a baby? A burger

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops