Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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how did the man die he didnt

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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